That Stupid Colonel
by Neko-Chan in Wonderland
Summary: [Oneshot] Roy Mustang. I really don't understand him. Or why I do what I do for him. Or how I really feel about him. But it really annoys me. A Royai vignette from Riza's POV. Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.


This man. Roy Mustang. He really confuses me. And sometimes it pisses me off. I mean, he's just an officer I work under… right? So when did it start to matter what he thought. That perverted, cocky jerk…

When did it first start? I've known him since forever; it's hard to tell. It was my job to protect him, I decided, when I took the job alongside him. Maybe it was when he congratulated me with that teasing smirk. "Now you're a dog of the military too."

Or maybe it was that time… when he lost it. Everyday he would look at that gun as he pointed it at himself, loaded. I was scared. I was really scared that he would do it. One time, he was staring at it for so long I slapped him. "Don't you dare, Colonel. I wouldn't ever forgive you if you did." He kind of stared at me, blinking, and I walked away, never apologizing for that slap. It's true. I would have never forgiven him. Or myself, for that matter.

Eventually, I think, he came to his senses, and went back to being the egotistical pervert I knew so well. Another thing I don't understand. Why does it make me so infuriated when our womanizing Colonel flirts? I know him. I know he does things like that. But every time, it bites. One time when I dragged him away from a woman, telling him that he was on duty, he laughed and asked me "Are you jealous, Lieutenant?" I didn't answer, because I didn't know the answer. Was I jealous? I guess I'd have to be, but why? Why would I get jealous of some girl he plays for a night? At that moment I really wished he wasn't such a shameless flirt. Then I wouldn't have to think about these things.

Then there was the hair thing. I always liked having short hair at first. It felt sort of free. But then as we were procrastinating, as usual, the boys were discussing what kind of girl they would go after. That was when Colonel spoke. "I like girls with long, flowing hair I can run my fingers through." A month later as I was leaving, Havoc was asking me casually "Hey, Hawkeye, your hair is getting kind of long… thinking of cutting it?" And I did think, for a moment, before I shook my head. "No, I'm thinking of growing it out again." I don't know what possessed me to make this decision, but I did. And it annoyed me.

Then there was when Hughes… left… None of us could believe it. He was a good man. No matter how annoying he got when he ranted about his daughter, he was a likeable person by all. I knew out of all those in the military, the one suffering the most was Colonel Mustang. They were always good friends. He stayed there even after everyone had left, and I was afraid he would take out that gun and point it at himself again. So I took his hand and squeezed it to make sure he wouldn't. And he squeezed back.

And, as always, things went back to normal. Sort of. It was then that the Elric brothers dropped the bombshell about the Furer. I could tell Mustang was as surprised as I was. After the meeting with the Furer, he came out sweating for all it was worth. I took out my handkerchief and wiped his sweat, and not just because it was my job. As our cause continued I gave him my word that I would fight at his side as long as he lived. He smiled and took my hand. "Then come with me." And at that point I decided if anyone deserved to be Furer, it was him—miniskirts and all.

Then there was that day. The worst day of my life, I think. That day it was raining, and Colonel had gone to the Furer's house. I was getting worried, restless, at the thought of him facing the Furer alone. So I went after him. I was just walking at first, but the fear was worse than ever as it gripped my heart and I broke into a run. As I turned in through the gates of the Furer's house, it seemed like my worst fears had been realized. Colonel Roy Mustang drenched in blood, stumbling out of the mansion, a child in his arms. I ran faster as I watched him collapse into the rain, his blood staining the concrete. I swore to protect him, so why had I failed at the one thing I promised myself to do? I was so scared. More than ever. And then I realized it. No matter how much I denied, how much I ignored, I couldn't lie anymore. I loved him. I loved Roy Mustang.

I stayed with him the entire time at the hospital. I didn't care about anything else. I might not have eaten anything either, if Havoc hadn't practically force-fed me. When he woke up, he looked at me and smiled dropping all formalities. He lifted a hand to my cheek. "Hey, Riza… When you come to a brush with death, there are certain things you regret not saying. I love you, Riza." I felt my vision blur and I practically fell on him, hugging him and crying. "I love you too, Roy."

And well, from there, things went on. Black Hayate and I moved in with him, and eventually, he was able to pass that miniskirt rule. This was obviously only because every other idiot in the military's male population was all for it. I slapped him when I found out. And he kissed me in return.


End file.
